The Ache Of Love
by MC-GAR-IL
Summary: But overall you were, well not happy, but content because isn't that what love is? Placing someone else's happiness above your own. But just because keeping these feeling to yourself was the right thing, didn't make this ache in your chest any less painful.


Falling for Ayano was a surprisingly quiet affair, it's not like you meant for this to happen. Well actually you're not even really sure how or why it happened. It's not like you didn't know about her crush on Kyoko, I mean everyone knew, except for Kyoko herself. But for some reason you're traitorous heart decided to go along with it's own devices and not even care about rationality. So everyday you're heart would beat a little faster when she smiled, or your stomach would clench a little tighter when she fussed over Kyoko.

The thought that you might be falling never registered in your brain you were too happy not dealing with the craziness everyone else had with their crushes. The first time it really hit you was Christmas during you're freshman year.

Kyoko had suggested that you try the mock dates again, and somehow you got partnered up with Ayano, and you ignored the slight flip of your stomach when you found out.

Just like last time you both end up sitting at the meet spot watching people walk about, and just like last time there was an obnoxious amount of couples walking around being annoyingly adorable. For some reason you couldn't understand why it bothered you so much this time. You both sat there in a weird silence just like last time, except it wasn't last time. For some reason when you saw Ayano's hand so close to yours you couldn't make yourself ask if she wanted to hold hands, instead your palms got sweaty and your chest began to tighten in a way that was almost painful. Slowly but cautiously you inched your hand closer to hers, and she was none the wiser, when you finally had your hand hovering over hers you hesitated and wondered just what the hell it was you were doing. Before you could gain the sense to put your hand back where it belonged Ayano had turned in your direction and noticed the was your hand awkwardly hovered over hers.

"Oh did you, did you want to hold hands?"

She says it in such a cute and shy voice that it makes your stomach twist sharply, and you wonder how you didn't double over in pain from it all. Finally your brain kicks into gear again, and you find the words that you need to reply.  
"No it's not like that, it's just, um, I forgot my gloves you see and my hands were pretty cold so I was trying to steal some of your body heat."

You end the sentence with an awkward laugh while you mentally face-palm at such a stupid excuse, who were you trying to fool with that out of character response? But when you look back at Ayano she has such a serious face on, and you have no idea what she's thinking, luckily you're not left in the dark for too long.

"Let me see your hands"

She orders as she pulls off her own gloves

"Okay"

You silently comply to her request as your mind races a mile a minute, as soon as your hands are cupped in hers she raises them toward her mouth and expels a hot breath of air into them, and then rubs them trying to restore their warmth. When she's done she brings your hands down to her lap and smiles.  
"Better?"  
"Uh, yeah, thanks"

She just smiles and nods looking down at your hands, she furrows her brow in contemplation before she speaks.

"Actually it's a bit awkward to sit this right Yui-san, so how about I hold one of your hands and I give you one of my gloves to keep the other warm?"

You really can't find the words so you just nod dumbly, and silently take the offered glove and put it on your left hand and bring your right one back to where Ayano's left is waiting for it. When your hands touch it feels like an electric shock just ran through your spine and you sit up incredibly straight acutely aware of the warmth radiating form the girl next to you. Ayano lets her eyes wander back out into the crowd, meanwhile you feel like you might throw up the way your stomach keeps clenching and unclenching, and you heart might just fly out of your rib-cage the way it's fluttering about. You're stuck between wanting to pull you're hand away as if you'd been burned or just sitting here like this for the rest of eternity.

And it was then in that moment you thought to yourself you might have some more than platonic feeling for Ayano Sugiura.

From then on out it was like your whole view of her had changed in someway. Her puns became more endearing to you. The way her eyes would light up when she was excited made your heart beat a little faster. The way she got so easily flustered would always put a small smile on your face. Just her mere presence could bring up your mood.

But you're not an idiot, like you said before everyone knows Ayano likes Kyoko, well everyone but Kyoko herself. You knew you probably didn't stand a chance, especially after they went on their first date during your second year of high school, and really you didn't want to take the risk. In a way you felt that dealing with this in silence was better.  
Because after a while those unrequited feelings became routine, they were expected, and you welcomed them.

The way you're stomach would clench when Ayano would smile at Kyoko like she was the only girl in the world, and Kyoko would return it with a smile just as intense. The way Your hearts would slow to a painful throb whenever she would come running to you about another successful date, or something thoughtful that Kyoko did. The way you felt like you could cry whenever she would look at you and you wished that it was the same way she looked at Kyoko.

But overall you were, well not happy, but content because isn't that what love is? Placing someone else's happiness above your own.  
But just because keeping these feeling to yourself was the right thing, didn't make this ache in your chest any less painful.


End file.
